She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
