At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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