whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
