Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need to calm my uterus...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
