That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
