Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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