Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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