I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
