Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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