I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
