Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
