Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
