Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
