dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
