OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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