I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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