we have pet lesbian snakes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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