this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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