it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
