Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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