just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
