I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
