just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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