Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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