I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize