What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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