well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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