I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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