So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
