I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
