love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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