Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
