if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
