I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
