Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
