There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize