I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize