Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
