I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
