i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
