Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
