everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
