ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize