HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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