he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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