guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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