FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
