So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We are all done wearing pants today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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