She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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