Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
