i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's get the cat blown out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
