physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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