I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
