my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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