im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
