She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
