Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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