Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
