As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
