The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
